A choice was made to reconnect with the past and it caused us great pain. It is like touching the eye of a stove that is set at its highest capacity, and expecting to not to be burned. We picked up where we had left off. A road that is destined for doom. I have to now deal with the consequences of my actions, for he has left again. I often seek out the past to see if some kind of happiness with a familiar man can be rekindled. I do not understand what they mean by “wait”, when I want love so badly. I wonder what strife and pain one must go through to find the one that they love. Do you sift through all the mind games, to find out they are the diamond that you were always looking for? I fear becoming shut out and missing someone great. I fear remaining open, and repeating the same mistakes. I only have this lifetime to achieve my dreams, and I cannot continue to this cycle of love and leave. A man cannot save me. I know that God can. No earthly being is my dream. We are fed this idea that without a partner, we are incomplete. But, there are still pieces of myself that I need to seek.