My biological mother had been heavy upon my mind for the past week. I had been angry at her for the way my siblings and I were separated during our childhoods, due to being placed in foster care. The only tragic outcome of being in foster care is that I never got to meet my younger brother who passed away in a car accident at age eighteen. I had been looking for him a week before his passing. One thing that I am exercising is facing my fears, and taking steps to letting any emotional burdens go. My biological mother and I have had a rocky relationship since I met her in 2008. At first, I thought I would hear from her everyday after our first meeting. This lasted for a little while, then it became hard to get in contact with her. Eventually, I gave up. Once again, I became angry with her for not contacting me, but even during our once-every two year-talks, I would make her cry. Or I would cry after saying something hurtful. Something in me decided to get off of my high horse and go visit Ms. Shentelle. During this past Fourth of July, my boyfriend and I spent the beautiful holiday with my hilarious birth mother. As soon as we saw each other, we cried and embraced. She is outgoing, charming, and the life of the party. We walked through “her hood”, as she says it, and she either hugged or shook hands with everyone we passed. Shentelle will dance randomly in public if her song comes on. I saw her walk with pride as she told everyone that I was her daughter. They all embraced me as if they knew me. She is a sweet lady and I can tell she was completely ecstatic to see me. I applaud her for loving us enough to give us up, and I have no right to judge. That day symbolized me facing an emotional obstacle. I forgive her and I forgave myself for being so hateful over circumstances that I could not control. Foster care bought me to my mother, my friends, my love, my love for writing. It is all but a steady path. I am who I am because of what I went through as a child. The ideal childhood was not meant for me, but I am blessed to had been one of the children who were lucky enough to be removed from a chaotic environment.There is a weight that has been lifted, and I thank God for allowing this past Independence Day to be just that for me.
“one sweet dream, came true, today.”