I feel that I have been here before. Childhood fantasies can turn into reality. My eyes would close, and I would be an adult in my own unkempt flat, just writing. There was a glass of wine, followed by the tears due to unwavering bouts with writer’s block. Dating dramas, working two jobs that keep me financially above the water, all while attempting to obtain some sense of accomplishment. Getting knocked down by life, calling Mama full of frustrations, and God reaching out his everlasting hand to me when I almost wanted to throw the towel in. I was warned of the “adult problems”, and that the world would be tough, but I always wondered how I would be as a woman. Oddly enough, God has granted me every opportunity to make every day and night dream I had as a child come true. I would say, “Yeah, I am the ugly chick now, but I will model!” Or I would spew, “So what if I had a rough beginning, I can always start over!” When we were children, we see things in a more black and white, or defined fashion. When there was a challenge, we were quick to tackle it. My best friend tells me that my adorable God Son’s new hobby is repeatedly jumping off the couch, landing on his feet, and giggling while scaring his mother to death. Little Mikael is determined to land on his feet, not inhibited with fear. I want this mindset back, and it is just as easy to change my mind as it is to be stubborn. Today I thought, “I so desperately want to write a blog entry that is up to par!” If you have gotten this far, apparently it is.
Until next time,